Dealing with Sin, with Theology

Ive been working in the church office today but not being too busy, and why the Pastor (Forbes) and Stuart (my boss) are off talking to some poeple who are getting married in the church Ive been amusing myself with podcasts and the like. Today Ive been thinking how fustrating I find it to feel like dealing with issues and learning things are like holding a fish in rubber gloves....OK OK I know I need to unpack a little - Basically when I was younger as a Christian I thought, I was dealing with issues in my life like ticking boxes in forms. I would get convicted about something, look at how to deal with it, so that it would come back again, and that was the box ticked. Instead these days I feel like dealing with issues is like holding that fish with some rubber gloves on when you hold it tight, you've got it, you've dealt with it, but then something else comes up, and to keep at the forefront, the way, or even just the fact you have to deal with it, you have to loosen the grip on the other fish, as more and more fish come up, you drop a few, forget it's an issue then there is goes again more fish until you haven't got a good hold on any of it, and you wonder where that neat form went where you ticked boxes! As you may be able to tell, the last few days Ive really been examining myself, pulling myself up on things, attitudes and well, sin, that I have been letting ride. As Im doing this I am just weighed down with how much death there is in sin. Now nobody get worried I didnt rob a bank or rape anybody, but the small things are equal, in the fact that their rebellion from God, and his design for us. I know that I repent and hand it over to God, and that Christ's glorious blood covers me, but I find it hard to nail those hands on the cross, for my laziness. Ive never really struggled with Grace before, knowing it over my life, But I know God is bigger than my sin, he is bigger than my doubt even. Ill trust in him. This kind of leads me into something else, a while back while I was working at the church office, a quite respected leader in the eyes of the church leadership and area, asked me what I studied and I said 'theology' he said 'You want to work for the church, why are you studying theology', It was meant as a haha theology is a joke etc etc, that I feel often riddles charasmatics, but concepts I was reading for the reformation course I did last semester are helpful aspects on my feelings. The first is something Calvin wrote in relation to Christology; (the study of the person and work of Christ) He wrote that Christ was like a mirror on a right angled corner, God the father was around one corner and humanity was in the other, the only way in which God sees us is through and by Jesus, and the only way we see and access God is through Jesus. Jesus enables us access to the holy of Holies, because God sees us through the redemmption of Christs death. The second is that the sacrifice of Christ was his death as a man and as God, the two part identity of Christ, so in dying the sacrifice he made was not only as one man but as God who is bigger that the universe, sin and humanity live within the finite and within the universe, and that is why Christs work is entirely sufficient, I am blown away that he took it on himself for me and you.